How to support yourself when you’re feeling burnout.

If there’s one thing the world needs right now, it’s models.  Although that may read like the douchiest first line EVER, let me clarify.  I’m talking about ROLE models. 

 Alongside COVID19, there has been another quiet epidemic spreading across the world in the form of workplace burnout.  When the pandemic hit, it felt like we all packed a carry-on bag assuming that it would only be a couple months before things returned to ‘business as usual’.  Fast forward two years and many of us are officially out of clean undies and look like we’ve combed our hair with a pork chop each morning before jumping on our first virtual meeting.  The real tragedy is that along with our fried looking hair, many of us are experiencing fried spirits as well.

 I believe that the most important competency in leadership is identical the most important competency in elite level athletics.   Self-care and recovery.   After all, in leadership, you’re a pretty sh!tty lifeguard when you’re drowning!  An interesting thing I’ve observed in the leaders I work with; is how many seem to understand this but how few actually practice it in reality.  As one of my clients calls it….there is a ‘say/do gap’. 

 So why do the lion’s share of athletes embrace this concept so well, while in the corporate world finding a leader who does is as common as running into a unicorn in a pant suit?  What’s really going on here?  My hypothesis is that in sports, there is a constant focus and intention toward winning and because of that constant focus, there is a resulting spotlight on performance.   To ensure peak performance, even a chimp could figure out that he should get his rest, not eat too many bananas, or smoke too many cigarettes before game time.   Also, athletes typically don’t have to ‘perform’ all day long from Monday through Friday like corporate athletes do.  When game time is EVERY SINGLE DAY the distinction between a top and turd performance will begin to blur.

 If self-care and recovery is not habitual in nature in your life, the chances of it worming it’s way on to your calendar in an ideal way is extremely unlikely.  When something is habitual in your life it becomes who you are.  It becomes part of your identity.  Self-care needs to shift from your to-do list to your to-who list.  I’ll give you an example.  I’m a guitar player.  My Dad taught me to play in elementary school and after playing for a year or two, it felt like it became part of who I was because I would do it every day.  All the way through my athletic years, my partying years, my suffering from partying too much years and still today, guitar is there in my daily life.   I’ve always found it so odd when someone asks me “Hey, do you still play guitar?”.  It feels odd because that question might as well be “Hey are you still Pete?  The answer is always yes because I AM a guitar player.  It’s just what I do.

 So how can you make self-care and recovery part of YOUR identity?  You need to become a person that practices self-care and recovery every day habitually until it’s just who you are.  Here are some strategies and mindsets that will help you accomplish this with ease.  

 Start really small and focus on being consistent.  Make it your goal to go on an unbroken streak with your self-care habits.  That means trying to not skip single day.  Sound daunting?  Here’s the caveat.  Say you want to start exercising every day.  Try allowing your definition of ‘exercise’ to be as simple as doing 20 air squats.  If you can become consistent by doing 20 air squats every day for a week, you can then begin to add and improve on the action. 

 Find micro-actions you can take throughout the day that require almost no activation energy to complete.  Taking small consistent actions feels like a little indulgence rather than another task on the list.  Think of how many hors d’oeuvres you can eat off the island in the kitchen mingling before Christmas dinner.  It definitely adds up!  Here are some examples of micro-actions that I take throughout the day:

 Two Minute Commute: Since COVID started, I noticed the murkiness of working and living in the same space.  To separate these two very different states of being, I created a 2-minute commute.  I leave my house in the morning before I begin work and I walk around the block.  When I arrive back at home and enter, that signals to my body, heart, and mind that I’m now at work.  At the end of the day, I leave my house and walk around the block.  When I arrive back at home and enter, that signals that I’m now at home.

1.5 Minutes of Gratitude: When I sit down at my desk to start my day, my gratitude journal is always on top of my computer (I put it there at the end of each day).  I then list as many things as I can think of that I’m grateful for in 90 – 120 seconds.   Focusing on gratitude isn’t just nice to do, it prevents me from thinking negatively, from over-working and helps me focus on what I have in my life rather than what I don’t.

 1 Min Meditation: I meditate for 1 minute prior to each coaching session I have.  This 60 second priming moment reminds my body, heart, and mind that I’m about to do something important that needs my full attention.  It helps me access a resourceful state when I can give as much as possible to my client.

 2 Min Stretch: After each coaching session I stretch one body part for one minute while I reflect on what went well on the call, what I learned and what I could have done better.  This simple action has become completely automatic that I don’t have to remember to do it anymore.  It just happens.   It also helps me release tension from my body and resets me for whatever is next in my day.

 1 Minute Workout: When I boil tea (which I probably do 4 or 5 times per day), I do one minute of an exercise.  Press ups on the kitchen island, air squats, lunges, sit-ups, triceps dips on a chair.

 You may not want to hear this, but the best way you can support yourself when you’re experiencing burnout is not overly complex.   It’s immediately prioritizing the exact opposite of what brought on the burnout state:

·      Setting boundaries (ones that actually exist!…not “Imaginary Trump Border Wall Boundaries”).

·      Learning to prioritize and say no..

·      Scheduling enough sleep (key word is scheduling….rather than grinding until you literally face-plant on your pillow).

·      Scheduling exercise, meditation, play, learning, reflection, and gratitude.

 The point I’m trying to make here is that if the burnout you’re experiencing is ‘unchartered waters’ for you, meaning it’s never happened before, then you need to find a unique solution for a uniquely rare problem.  Doing that should include a careful reflective diagnosis of cause and effect.  If burnout hits you like a quarterly cold, you need to look at your role in the equation.   You may even be doubling down with poor behaviour if you talk the talk about the importance of self-care and recovery in front of others but don’t the walk the walk yourself.  Embrace your inner Mick Jagger by using your lips AND your moves.  And remember, your team, followers, peers, colleagues, and children are watching you, and they will match and mirror your behaviours over what you SAY is important. 

If you read that last paragraph and thought “shit, that sounds like me”, then reflect on the following questions, and here’s the most important part….. take action!: 

·      What needs to shift for me to view self-care and recovery as imperative?

·      What simple habits can I create to encourage self-care and recovery in my daily life?

·      What systems or structures can I put in place that will support my goal of increasing my self-care and recovery?

·      What small action will I take towards my self-care and recovery right now?